The Ward
by Moonkitty Liafle
Summary: Relena Darlian, being a minor, ends up under the care of the Noventas...and what with Heero being her bodyguard, tension runs high (HYxRP, mild Noventa bashing)
1. In which Relena is dissed by the ESUN

THE WARD

THE WARD

Chapter I- The Travesty

A/N: heheheRomantic Comedy:P

She sat on her chair, legs up on the cushion and book nestled onto her lap. Her room was medium sized and not overly ornate, with all of the fundamental furniture and a few choice trinkets that reflected her taste.

However, the place in which she lived was centuries old, With smooth marble columns and delicate woodwork. Outside of her room, the plush, overly intricate walls and rooms reeked of wealth and sophistication.

She had stripped her room to the barest of essentials, believing that that would help her concentrate on her work, which was, to put it bluntly, to keep the Earth and the colonies from killing each other.

She sighed and stretched, glancing at the clock that told her that she had once again read into the wee hours of the morning. Her joints popped and she put down her book on her bookcase with one graceful movement.

Her books contained titles such as _Pacifism in Modern Times, The Power of Nonviolent Resistance, Compromise, the 53rd Edition,_ and other intimidating titles. She hadn't read a fiction book in one whole year. Resolutions and other bills that were being considered in the Senate were piled on her desk, spread out on the floor, and generally strewn about everywhere. Each one was thoroughly dog-eared and highlighted.

She had to keep up to date with current resolutions, advising the senators on which bills would be advantageous to their region and lobbying her own pet project- the terraformation of Mars- to everyone else. It was a grueling job.

The girl settled herself in front of her mirror, careful hands untying her flaxen hair. She shook her head, so that it would loosen up and float down to her shoulders. She studied her reflection intently. She was still as thin as she had been in the war, and she forced a twinkle into her sparkling blue eyes.

There, that was better. That was the old Relena. Why was it so hard to be something she used to be every day? She yanked on her pajamas wearily and then opened the door of her room.

There was a foot shifting sound and a rustle in the shadows.

"Relena."

She turned to Heero distractedly and nodded at him, "You should go to bed."

"My shift will be over in ten minutes." He assured her.

She awarded him a small smile, "That's nice."

She yawned again and walked over to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

A few minutes later, she walked past again, and with a final goodnight, went into her room.

Heero stood on guard several minutes later before he ventured to open to door a crack. Luckily, she was asleep. She had pillowed her head in the crook of one arm, her hair flung about in sleepy disarray.

He dared to give the unconscious person a half smile.

Four months ago, she had held him close, whispering words of assurance as Mariemeia was carted away on a stretcher and the corpse of Dekim Barton was being disposed of. He suddenly found himself envying the blankets that covered her, the teddy bear that was allowed to sit on her dresser, watching her constantly

He never thought that he would envy a bedroom of all things.

He worried deeply about her, and especially about how the court order that was to be issued the next day would affect her life. A tap on the shoulder awakened him from his reverie.

"I didn't know you still-"

"Of course." He said, turning to face the careful and composed man who was to replace him.

His name was Trowa Barton. Well, actually that wasn't his name, but it was close enough for him, "There is nothing more painful than unrequited love."

Heero looked up, his deep blue eyes searching his friend's playful green, "She's too busy to notice my feelings, and that will spare her any guilt. I don't have any problem guarding her, even if I can never her call her mine."

The shadows were deep in the hallway, which was only illuminated by a skylight above. Trowa shook his head, "You should tell her."

"She can't understand love. Everyone has used or deceived her in the past. I don't think she could every bring herself to trust anyone."

"You could help her."

"No, I know too little about it myself."

"Ah yes, you told me once during the war when you were recuperating. A child who ran away from home, worked as an assassin, and became the most dangerous Mobile Suit pilot all before he reached the age of sixteen."

Heero was almost seventeen. Trowa had just passed his eighteenth birthday.

Heero forfeited his gun and walkie-talkie to the tall acrobat, "Take care of her."

"I always do."

Heero walked of. Relena slept on, unaware.

"Ms. Relena Darlian-Peacecraft, are you prepared for the decision of this court?"

Relena had spent the past year and a half putting off her court time, citing Pegan, her trustworthy butler, as her temporary guardian. But that did not please the ESUN's judiciary branch. Which was why she was no standing in front of a judge, watching her life be tossed around in the hands of strangers.

Was she prepared for the decision? No. Never. She knew they wouldn't approve of her request for independence from a parent, for the ESUN really wanted someone to keep an eye on her, making sure she didn't manipulate the people to her own desires.

"I am prepared." Was that her voice? Yes, yes it was. It sounded strained though. She cleared her throat.

"It is the decision of this court that you, Relena Darlian-Peacecraft, being a minor and a person still needing to be guided in the ways of this world-"

'Needed to be guided.' She guided the world daily for the past one and a half years.

"-will be placed under the legal guardianship of a citizen of the ESUN. It has been decided by this court that the Noventa family, who were close political allies to the previous Sanc Kingdom, would be the best suited to help you into the world of adulthood. When you reach the age of eighteen you will be allowed to make the decisions of an adult and will be freed from this obligation."

Relena sighed and nodded, "I understand."

Relena Darlian, a key person in the war one and a half years ago and a girl who was admired by many, was now a ward of the Noventa family.

She supposed she wouldn't be seeing much of Heero anymore.


	2. In which we meet the competitionRelena s...

CHAPTER II- In which we meet the competition

CHAPTER II- In which we meet the competition

Relena shifted her grip on her suitcase and yanked up the other one, which she had been dragging. Before her stood the Noventa mansion, with well-tamed gardens and a light colored gravel path that led straight to grandiose main entrance. Our blonde haired heroine heaved a sigh and looked around. There was no one to help her. Pegan had already driven off into the world of unemployment after exchanging several words of remorse and farewell.

The rest of her things would be delivered later, but for now, all of Relena's important document and a few changes of clothes had been shoved hastily into two suitcases and her purse.

Several steps into this process of 'yank, grip, and drag,' the desperate once-princess-turned-queen-turned-vice-foreign-minister halted. Yep, she decided, te high heels had definitely been a bad idea. She put down her bags and swung the purse around her neck so that the pouch came to rest at her lower back and the strap dug into her throat. It was annoying, but manageable.

She then picked up her luggage once more and began the slow trek.

Except that now she was being half-choked.

A small, cynical facet of her personality could not help but remark the irony.

About eight exhausting minutes later, Relena made it to the doorway of her new home. She heaved yet another sigh. Well, she supposed, it was her fault for not telling the Noventas she was coming. Perhaps it was her inadvertent stubbornness making one last claim to her independence.

Her cynical side was having a field day.

Relena dropped her baggage with a loud 'thump' and leaned forward to ring the doorbell.

The door flung open.

Relena stood face to face with a person that remotely resembled her.

She was, without a doubt, quite confused.

"Relena? Relena Peacecraft?"

"Darlian."

"Oh no, my name's not 'Darling,' it's Sylvia. Sylvia Noventa." She smiled cheerfully with her well-groomed features. Her eyes sparkled a merry blue, far lighter and clearer than Relena's, her hair a golden blonde color that sparkled like sunlight. Relena's hair looked like it had been dragged through mud. She felt slightly jealous, as everyone does when they meet someone who is more beautiful than they are.

"No," Relena said with a smile (her days in politics, where acting had been a necessity, had not been wasted!), "I meant I go by Relena _Darlian_."

"I'm sorry," she smiled and appeared confused, "Let me try again. Good afternoon, Relena-_darling_ Peacecraft."

She cocked her head at Sylvia. No, her eyes were not dull or vacant. The beautiful girl was not stupid or slow-witted. It was obviously a misunderstanding, "Look, My name is Relena Darlian. Darlian is my last name, and it is spelled D-A-R-L-I-A-N.

"Oh."

Relena gave her a suffering sort of smile, "I'm sorry, I'm not having a good day. Where are your parents?"

"You mean 'our parents' now, don't you?" Sylvia asked cheerfully. Her beautiful golden hair glowed like a halo in the sunlight.

Relena gave her a withering look, "Whatever you say."

"They're out. Come on in, you're just in time for lunch!"

Sylvia darted back inside, leaving Relena to deal with her luggage alone. Relena glared at her suitcases, "Why does this have to happen to me of all people?"

Heero lowered his binoculars, "Subject has successfully entered the building."

A boy with a heavy long braid and a priest's collar looked up at his phlegmatic companion in what can only be described as a sarcastic manner, "What in hell's name are we doing here, Heero?"

The dark haired boy carefully put his binoculars into their case and fastened the snaps, "I am here to keep a promise."

"-and ogle at the girl of your dreams," the boy put in. Heero did not answer that. His friend scowled, "What I don't understand is why I'm here."

"Because after Hilde left you three weeks ago, she joined the security detail at the Noventa residence."

"WHAT?!"

Heero smirked smugly, "See, Duo? I told you it would be to your advantage to come."

The boy (now known as Duo) nodded cheerfully, "At last, my chance to win her back!"

Heero rolled his eyes, "Poor Hilde."

Duo elbowed him sharply from their perch on the iron-railed wall. Heero had to grab at a spiny tip to keep his balance. He laughed heartily, "That's what you get for being spiteful."

Heero rammed Duo in the ribs and watched him fall into a patch of brambles that had been creeping up the railing.

"And that's what you get for pissing me off."

It's a pleasure to have you in the family, Relena," Mrs. Noventa was spouting in fruity tones.

They were eating dinner on a broad mahogany table. The greatly overweight Mrs. Darlian on one end, the stout Mr. Darlian on another, and Sylvia and Relena on opposite sides of the middle. Dinner was an assortment of rich heavy foods that Relena really couldn't stomach. There was a particular spice that the whole family enjoyed, and therefore ever dish featured it.

Relena found that it made her feel very sick, which was why she was shoving her food around on her plate.

She used to cook a lot with Pegan at home, and neither of them were ever really good at it. She was more of a 'if it tastes okay, eat it' sort of person, who enjoyed lighter foods like sprouts or whole grain breads.

She was also a vegetarian.

Not one of them had asked, merely heaped her dish full of heavy meats and starches.

Relena believed a healthy body was the key to a healthy mind. Strangely enough, Sylvia was eating just as much as her parents, and looked just about as slim as a willow branch. Relena was very confused.

She supposed she could have complained, but that would have meant opening up to her new 'family,' and her stubborn side simply would not allow that.

Relena shoved her food around some more. She was grumpy, she was emotionally exhausted, and she was annoyed at the strangers who surrounded her.

"I'm so sorry about our absence, Relena, we're not always gone so much." Mrs. Noventa was saying arround a mouthful of venison.

"Yes you were," Sylvia cut in, "During the Eve Wars you two were gone for a whole month. I remember because Heero Yuy came-"

Mr. Noventa brought down his crystal wineglass so hard, it shattered, "Sylvia! We will not mention that name in this house!!!"

His face was as red as a beet.

Relena stared at him blankly.

Duo picked the remaining bits of vegetation from his fall earlier in the day as he and Heero sat in base camp eating out of tins. Hearing devices and miniature cameras had been planted all over the house, and they were watching the scene from their small encampment in the center of a maze made out of high hedges.

The braided boy wore a sarcastic grimace as he hissed at Mr. Noventa's hissy fit, "In-laws."


	3. In which things are explained, a bet is ...

CHAPTER III-In which things are explained, a bet is made, and Heero makes a midnight visit that has an unexpected result

CHAPTER III-In which things are explained, a bet is made, and Heero makes a midnight visit that has an unexpected result.

A/N: Long chapter! Long chapter! Ra! Ra! Ra! Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews so far ::Moonkitty feels very encouraged:: I believe that we HYxRP fans need some more romantic comedies. Please, sit back, relax, and enjoy- and afterwards please tell me what you think.

Relena creased her napkin on her lap, "Why," she dared, "Is 'Heero Yuy' a forbidden name? Wasn't he a man who fought for peace between Earth and the Colonies in A.C. 175?"

Mr. Noventa stabbed at his food, "Not _that_ Heero Yuy, Relena. 'Heero Yuy' is the codename for that goddamned pilot of Gundam 01."

Mrs. Noventa turned her head sharply to her husband, "Boris! Watch your language!"

Relena's new father stood up suddenly, jerking the table with his thick bulk, "Anastasia, now is not the time to plague me," he began to pace in front of his dinner, "Heero Yuy killed my father by accident during the Eve Wars. That filthy bolschtik* then went to every person in my father's immediate family, offering that we take his life in payment."

Relena hid her smiled between her cup as she sipped a glass of water, "So, did you kill him?"

This infuriated Boris even more. He slammed his fists on the table, upsetting his wife's wineglass.

"As a politician promoting pacifism, I could not without destroying my career." He smashed his hands together, "But I would have if I could have. I would have coated the ground with his blood!"

Sylvia wiped her mouth with her napkin, "That and the fact he was really, really cute. Oh, his eyes were so intense and beautiful. I felt like I was drowning in an ocean of cold blue when I looked at him..."

At this, Mr. Noventa stormed out of the room.

Duo turned to his friend, "Ha! Chicks do fall for the cold and silent type! I wouldn't have guessed!"

"Shut up," our grumpy pilot growled, his blushing face hidden in the darkness of the outside.

"Oh dear," Mrs, Noventa said nervously, "You'll have to forgive Boris, Relena," The three women heard a mutter of cursing just beyond the door, "he tends to getworked up over certain subjects."

"I noticed," Relena stood up and smiled at the two nobles, "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Noventa, Sylvia."

The matronly woman shook her head, "You're part of the family now. Call me Anastasia. Sylvia will show you to your room. I would rather have family give you a tour instead of servants, don't you?"

Relena nodded absently, brushing her hair from her face. Sylvia stood up and took her hand eagerly, "This is going to be so much fun! I always wanted a sister!"

Relena almost said 'Funny, I didn't' but she caught herself just in time.

She was dragged out of the room.

"Oo-hoo! The bedroom scene!" Duo jeered, "I've been waiting for this part."

Heero shook his head, "I installed only listening devices in that room. Relena's privacy must be kept intact."

Duo leaned forward eagerly, "Isn't listening to everything she says invading her privacy as well?"

"Not if it's for protection purposes."

"You are full of shit."

Heero's eyes narrowed into slits of piercing blue, "Aren't you supposed to be a priest?"

"Hell no! I wear this," he yanked at the collar, "for mourning. Nah, priesthood is for those who haven't sinnedand for those without girlfriends."

"As I recall, Hilde dumped you. You haven't gotten her back-"

"-Yet." The boy inserted smugly.

Heero shrugged carelessly, "Sure."

"Are you saying I can't do it?!" Duo growled menacingly, disliking his sarcastic tone.

Heero did not reply.

The braided boy's eyes widened, "Okay, if you want me to prove it to you, I will. One hundred lunar credits says I can get Hilde before you can get Relena."

"The vice foreign minister is not interested in-"

"Well unbraid my hair and call me a nun, you're scared of her!" Duo crowed triumphantly, "Just because she doesn't know it yet doesn't mean she doesn't like you!"

Heero cradled his head in his hands.

"She's not sure what love is. She probably thinks about you as a friend. You've got to make the first move, pal, get her interested in you in a different way-"

Heero mumbled something.

"Chicken! You're a chicken!" Duo caterwauled, "You must have used up all your guts during the war!"

Duo leaped up and began flapping his arms around, "Boc! Boc! Boc!"

"Lower your voice! Are you trying to get us caught, baka?"

"Baka? What does that mean?"

"Nevermind that, just stop it already!" Heero snapped. Duo grinned devilishly at the fact he was getting on his companion's nerves.

"I won't stop until you agree to the bet." Duo stopped and cupped his hands around his mouth, "COCKLE-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heero muttered something else.

Duo leaned forward, "What did you say?"

Heero stood up and looked Duo straight in the eye, "I said, 'Fine, I'll do it.'"

The pilot of Deathscythe Hell immediately stopped and shoved his hands into his pockets, "That wasn't too hard, was it?"

And, for the second time that day, Heero lunged at Duo.

Sylvia flung open the doors to the balcony and let the fresh night air permeate the musty gloom of Relena's 'suite.'

"There! Doesn't that feel better?" she said cheerfully.

Relena smiled at her boisterous companion, "Yes, I suppose so."

"Don't let the folks scare you," Sylvia said softly, leaning forward onto the balcony's ledge and staring out to the starry sky, "they're just testy sometimes."

"I deal with people like that every day where I work."

"I guess you do," Sylvia agreed, the wind playing with her sparkling hair and the collar of her pale sundress, "I love the summer. It's mostly cold up here in Northern Europe, but for these couple of months, it's the most beautiful place I know."

Relena moved forward as well, "See over there, past those mountains? That's where the Sanc Kingdom used to be. I lived there."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that on some televid special. My dad says your family and my family used to be close allies."

"Yes, they were."

A malicious grin lit up Heero's face as he sat beside the now unconscious Duo. Hew leaned back on his bedroll and put a small earphone in his ear. Hopefully, Relena would go to sleep soon. He always slept better when he could listen to the sound of her breathing

"Any cute guys at your 'Sanc Kingdom?" Sylvia ventured bravely.

Relena blushed lightly, "Yes."

Heero jerked up. Could she?

"Really? Who do you like?"

"Oh, I don't really have time for that kind of thing."

Heero sank back down.

Sylvia blushed as well, "I like a guy, and I've only talked to him once. I think you know him"

"Who?"

"Heero Yuy."

Relena's eyes widened. At the exact same moment, so did Heeros'. Who would have thought that Duo was, for once, actually right? "That must be nice."

"I heard that he stayed in the Sanc Kingdom for a while during the war."

"That's true" Relena answered vaguely.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Did you meet him?" Relena turned to Sylvia, whose eyes were bright and full of adorable envy.

"Yes, we arefriends." She said after hesitating for a few moments.

Sylvia looked down at her hands, her face very red, "Would you mind" she trailed off.

"What?"

"Would you mind"

Sylvia turned away, "Oh, never mind, I'll ask you later. I'll be in the suite across from you if you need me."

Relena watched the girl rush out, deeply embarrassed.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Heero got up. He needed to see her. He needed to visually confirm that she was all right. Blame it on testosterone.

It wasn't hard to creep out of the maze and scale the wall of the mansion, and Relena was still on her balcony. Relena nearly bludgeoned him with a planter pot when he pulled himself up, but that was (luckily) avoided by a quick stop on Relena's part.

'Heero?" Relena said by way of question, putting down the plant.

"Relena."

"What are you doing here?"

"Ensuring your protection."

She laughed lightly at that, "I still say you should have joined the preventers. The pay would probably be better."

Heero shook his head, "Too much red tape."

She nodded hesitantly, "The Noventas hate you, you know."

"I gathered that."

"How'd you get hurt?" She asked, looking over his bruised face and scratched hands.

"Duo and I had a little fight"

"Over what?"

"Nothing." he replied hastily.

"What's Duo doing here."

"Checking up on Hilde."

"Hildethat name sounds familiar. Weren't they going out?"

"Yeah, but Duo screwed up," Heero stated, "So now she works for security here."

"Oh."

She sighed and sat up on the rail. He pulled her down, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

She was looking up at him with her wide, beautiful eyes, her mouth slightly parted. He couldn't help himself. They both moved forward slowly, eyes closing in expectation, when-

"Relena?" there was a tentative knock on the door.

"Shit!" Relena growled, and she grabbed Heero by the arm.

What should she do? Shove him into the closet? Leave him in the bathroom? Disguise him as lamppost? 

"Get in here!' she hissed, shoving Heero under the bed.

Relena straightened her clothes and opened the door, revealing Anastasia's wrinkled face. The woman reminded her of an overfed cat by her slit-like eyes, well-groomed silver hair, and thick waist that was disguised by cleverly cut clothing.

"Good evening, my dear, may I come in?"

Relena looked back to her bed and bit her lip, but she nodded and shut the door after the woman.

The matriarch looked around and then seated herself on the overstuffed bed.

Relena blanched, "Perhaps you'd like a chair, Mrs. Nov- I mean, Anastasia?"

Heero kept very quiet and very still, even though there were dust bunnies tickling his nose. It was quite unpleasant, and he was fighting the urge to sneeze.

"No, I like this bed."

"I see."

Anastasia folded her hands and readjusted her maroon skirt, "Relena, I just thought I'd come in here and officially welcome you to this family. I understand that it must be difficult for you, after living on your own for all this time, so we'll take it one step at a time."

Relena smiled congenially, but was seething on the inside. She didn't want to get to know these people! She didn't want to be close to anyone! She would never be close to anyone again because- 

Anastasia stood up and the bed creaked in relief. She smiled faintly, "Welcome home."

Relena nodded and opened the door for her.

Mrs. Noventa walked out.

Relena closed the door and then rushed to the bed, "All clear!"

Heero was halfway out when the door knocked again. Relena jerked up in surprise, and then pushed Heero back under with her foot.

But this time, the main door wasn't knocking- it was her bathroom door. Intrigued, Relena walked up to the door and turned the crystal doorknob.

Syliva burst in, "Hello! I just thought I'd tell you that we share bathrooms. See?"

The excited girl pushed the door open wider and revealed a lovely washroom, bedecked in light blue tile and nicely renovated antique faucets and a tub with clawed feet. A circular shower was nested into one corner, and the toilet itself in the other. The tub was at the far end of the room between the two other bathroom necessities, right below at large bay window.

Relena frowned at the window, "Aren't you afraid people will peek?"

Sylvia shrugged, "We're two floors up and surrounded by gardens. Who would look?"

Relena shrugged, "Well, it's already ten o'clock. I guess I should call it a night."

Sylvia latched herself onto Relena's arm, "Well, actually, Relena, I was hoping you'd have a little bit of time for girl talk."

Relena suppressed the urge to scream as she was dragged back into her room. Sylvia threw herself onto the bed immediately, sand Relena could have sworn she'd her an angry 'ouff' above the squeal of ancient springs.

After ten minutes, Relena discovered that Sylvia's idea of 'girl talk' meant quizzing her on how she met and knew Heero Yuy. She had skipped over their death threat/ chasing each other days and told her random meaningless things about Heero's behavior and such.

Sylvia stared at her in ecstasy, absorbing every word like a very desperate sponge. After ten more minutes, Sylvia interrupted her, "Oh, isn't he the greatest? He's soooooo cute and those spandex pants hid nothing."

"Sylvia!" Relena said, shocked.

"Come on, Relena, you must have noticed-"

"I don't think about him that way!" Relena sputtered, deeply embarrassed (especially considering the boy about whom they were speaking was hiding below them).

"Well, I guess, like you said, you don't have time to think about guys like that."

"Well"

Heero couldn't take it anymore, the startled dust was making the urge to sneeze almost impossible to resist, no matter how much interest he may have had in the conversation.

He was a soldier! He had endure grueling training to-

"Kerchooo!"

Sylvia gave a nervous start, "What was that?"

Relena thought fast and bounced on the mattress, and a curious thumping sound resulted- but she didn't worry about that, the key was that the bed squeaked.

"Sorry, this bed is noisy."

"Oh, you know, it's getting kind of late. I'd better go." Sylvia said gently, "Let's continue this later."

Relena was incredibly relieved, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Sylvia giggled and scurried off. When no one interrupted again, she looked under the bed.

What she saw was unnerving.

Heero was stretched out under the bed, knocked out cold.

How was she going to explain that?!


	4. In which Relena deals with a dilemma and...

CHAPTER IV- In which Relena gets worried and Heero gets suffocated

CHAPTER IV- In which Relena gets worried and Heero gets suffocated.

Relena slapped Heero across the face desperately, "Come on, Heero! Wake up!"

After two minutes of leaning over and beating him, she pushed herself back up on her heels and glared at him.

"Typical. You fall out of a Gundam headfirst and survive, but one little bang to the head has you completely unconscious!"

Relena quelled her urge to go into a full-blown panic attack. She was a diplomat. She was a princess. She could handle this.

She got up and kicked him hard on the side, "You stupid idiot!"

"Relena? Is something wrong?" A voice asked sleepily, muffled by the wall separating them. Our heroine's eyes widened nervously.

"No! Sorry, Sylvia, I was just talking to myself!"

"Good night!"

"Yeah!"

She felt just about ready to spit fire. (A/N: The mental image of Godzilla-Relena storming through the house shooting flames _does_ sound appealing to this wicked writer)

Relena sucked in a deep breath and bent down again. Heero did mention that Duo was with him. He probably had a walkie-talkie or transmitter in himShe fumbled around with the pouches on his belt, blushing furiously. Damn Sylvia for bringing up a 'certain subject!'

Aha! A walkie-talkie! Relena looked up and clicked the dial on her bedside lamp a notch higher to help her look at that device. Now, if her memory served her, one turned that knob and flicked that switch

The crackle of an active radio sent waves of relief washing through her.

"Hello? Duo? Anyone? Is anyone there?" she said sending her words over the radio instead of speaking directly into it as one was supposed to.

Static.

"Duo? Can you receive? This is Relena! It's an emergency!"

Then Relena remembered something. Heero was a trained soldier through and through. He knew that a half-insensible person with a few cracked ribs could still fire a gun or knife you from behind. Heero had probably made sure that Duo was completely unconscious- and would stay that way for a long time.

Several profane words came to mind at this moment.

She looked down at Heero, who was laying down corpse-like. But things got worse, because of his position and the angle of his head, Heero had begun to snore.

Now, Relena may have known about walkie-talkies, but she had had absolutely no experience when it came to snoring. Her foster-father never had a problem with snoring, and if he did, he was gone so often on peace talks and meetings and such that she never really had the opportunity to find out.

So, instead of flipping him on his side as she should have done, she snatched a pillow off of her bed and put it over his mouth. Hey, he could breathe through his nose, right?

"Agh! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" she muttered, trying to keep her voice low, "I'm stuck in a stupid house with stupid people and a stupid idiot can't even keep conscious and I'm going to be in deep shit and-"

There was a muffled oath and a hand came out and pushed her away.

Relena's eyes widened. Heero had pulled the pillow off of his face and was gasping for air. Was it the light, or was he really purple?

"What in hell were you doing?" he gasped, his voice only low because he was currently hyperventilating.

"Keep your voice down!" she whispered harshly, "I was trying to wake you up and then you started snoring and-"

He pressed his hand to his side, "What happened?!"

Relena was suddenly reminded of all those times when Heero had threatened to kill her. She smiled hesitantly. If he couldn't do it then, then he couldn't do it now, right?

Yes, she remarked to herself, his face really was purple. Oh well, it would probably be an inventive and colorful deathwhich sounded much more interesting than dying peacefully in her sleep at the age of eighty-something.

"You. Nearly. Suffocated. Me." He stated coldly.

Suddenly, slipping away silently at an old age seemed a great deal more appealing.

"You almost got me into loads of trouble. Why were you snoring?"

"I don't snore." He was moving towards her slowly, and Relena was baking away unconsciously.

"Yes you do. Like a saw on wood-oof!" She had crashed into the bed and fallen down.

He pinned her down, "I don't snore!"

"Oh, yes you do!" his grip on her wrists tightened.

"Wrong answer."

He began tickling her mercilessly, and Relena had to hold her breath so not to laugh out loud.

After about a minute of the intense torture she finally whispered, "Mercy."

Heero continued his assault, "I don't snore!"

"Fine! Fine! You don't snore!" she gasped, trying very hard not to collapse into a fit of giggles.

His weight was lifted up off of her and she sat up, exhausted. Her face was red from containing her mirth, but it only darkened when she noticed her rumpled clothes, her messed up bed, and her _very_ male companion.

"Um, Heeromaybe you should go now."

He glared at her, "Duo and I will keep an I out for you."

She held up a graceful hand, "There's no need, Heero. I'm sure the Noventas have very good security. I've already withdrawn my request for protection from the Preventers. Trowa isn't here, or Wufei. Duo wouldn't want to be here until you baited him. What's wrong with you?"

He looked slightlyconfused, "Are you saying you don't want my protection?"

She blushed, "Well, I'm just worried about Sylvia that girl has it really bad for you. If she finds out"

Heero shook his head. "She won't."

"Heero"

He picked up her teddy bear from a near bag and tossed it to her, "Get some sleep."

He walked to the balcony, and Relena followed him to the door. Looking at her carefully, he closed the door and confronted the chilly summer air. He was just about to go over the rail when her heard a desperate pounding on the glass. He looked up and Relena smiled at him. Making sure she had his full attention she mouthed the words, "You really do snore" and then whisked the curtains shut.

Heero was indignant. Relena was vengefully gleeful.

And Sylvia snuggled up in bed. If she had witnessed what had taken place, she most likely would have been fuming.

A/N: HeheheI liked that one. I'd just like to thank everyone for all their encouragement and comments. I LOVE advice. This one took a while because I really wanted Heero to be a lamppost (thanks to everyone who recommended that one!) but it just wouldn't work out.

GODZILLA-RELENA: Hurry up with the next chapter or I'll burn you!

MOONKITTY: Gomen! Don't smash building, Godzilla-Relena, that's mean.

GODZILLA-RELENA: I'm mad!

MOONKITTY: Help!


	5. In which Ape-Woman and the Twig make an ...

CHAPTER V- In which Ape-Woman and the Twig make an appearance, and Heero is given the title of 'Peeping Tom

CHAPTER V- In which Ape-Woman and the Twig make an appearance, and Heero is given the title of 'Peeping Tom!'

A/N: This chapter is not very long because it is not supposed to be long. The next one will be very long, though.Okay, Moonkitty has decided to clear some things up before proceeding.

  1. I'm not trying to portray Sylvia as stupid or evil, just with a VERY intense crush on Heero Yuy.
  2. The chapter titles are a little strange, I know, but originally when chapters were created (at the dawn of time, of course), they were used as a summary of the events that would happen in the story. I just decided that, for this fic, it would be fun to do the same. Also, when you are looking for a particular part of the story, doesn't it make it easier to find it?
  3. And yes, there will be some Duo/Hilde moments and what happened between them will soon be explained!!!
  4. And to Sagittarius Girl (a.ka. Sagit!!!:P): Weird nicknames kick a$$!.

And to Ayanami-Chan (Aya-chanheheheh): Godzilla-Relena is after you! j/k!!!!

Moonkitty ::bows:: Arigatou-gozimasu for reading!

Moonkitty: Okay, now you're getting embarrassing! 

Godzilla-Relena: Yummy people!

Godzilla-Relena: Me smash! Me make human sandwiches!

Moonkitty: ::Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh:: Thanks to everyone who has been reading, by the way.

Godzilla-Relena: Now she finally gets to it!

Moonkitty: And anyone willing to capture Godzilla-Relena dead or alive is welcome toI just wonder where you'll get a big enough net. I suggest you distract her with a Heero plushie (ne, Aya-chan?).

Godzilla-Relena: GUHWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!!!

Moonkitty: I'm just a moonkitty. I can't deal with a three hundred foot colossus.

"You can never succeed. Give in or this is the end for you."

"You will never take me alive!"

"I'll make you live with your failure. You're in over your head."

Hilde stood up and slammed her cards on her table, "Straight!"

Hilde's friend put down her own hand and cackled, "Four of a kind. You have to do the midnight rounds, my friend."

"You cheated!" she hissed.

"Maybe, but where's your proof?" Hilde's companion said dangerously, her cold blue eyes glinting dangerously in the warm light that reflected off of her honey-blond hair.

Hilde's hair, which was cut efficiently into a short hairstyle, gleamed blue black. It was raven's hair surrounding cunning face. If it was to come to a physical match, the blond, with her more muscular build would easily beat Hilde's slim and delicate figure.

"Sally, I really want to hurt you right now." Hilde got up and pulled out her torch in an intimidating way.

"Go ahead and try it, Twig!" Sally kicked back her chair.

"What is all the commotion here?" The two bodyguards turned slowly to face their doom that went by the name of Boris Noventa in a heavy silk robe and armed with a formidable baseball bat, "Is something wrong?"

Sally smiled nervously, "Hey, boss!"

Hilde chewed her lip in silent dread.

"What is going on here?" Mr. Noventa growled, the sound beginning softly from somewhere deep in his formidable girth and exploding forth through his lips like a bear's growl.

"Uh, poker, boss," Sally said calmly.

Hilde crossed her arms, "But Sally cheated."

At this, the blond woman turned on her fellow conspirator, "You probably did too! You never asked for any other cards! I'd say that straight of yours came straight from her uniform sleeve!"

"Go become a house wife for Wufei and leave me be, you hypocrite!" Hilde threatened menacingly.

"Oh, someone's being a sore loser because she doesn't have anyone to go back to!" Sally snapped just as cruelly.

"You're jealous because I don't have to depend on anyone to be happy!"

"I didn't say you were happy!"

Boris Noventa had had plenty of experience with women. His daughter and wife were prime examples. Sighing, he turned on a slippered heel and left his protectors to their own devices.

But as those two women (who were normally very good at their job even though it was a boring one) were fighting amongst themselves, nocturnal visitors were scurrying across the grounds. One, by the name of Heero Yuy, was leaving for base camp.

The other one was sporting a braid and a rougish grin as he hunted down one special person who was currently in a headlock under the strong grip of Sally Po.

Hilde Shiebecker and Sally Po were going at it one on one, and it was very hard to tell who was winning.

"He thinks he can knock the God of Death in oblivion, huh? Thinks he's Mister Mighty Fist, huh?" Duo was muttering to himself as he darted from the bushes to a small wall,, then behind the trellis, as he neared in on his true love's location.

A listening device was in his ear as he listened to his black angel's sweet and melodious voice saying:

"Take that, you bitch!"

He wondered if perhaps the frequency had been hijacked by the A.C. 197 version of 'Jerry Springer.'

"I'll beat you until you can't see straight!"

Was that Wufei's girl, Sally's, voice?

"Who's the twig now, ape-woman?"

"APE-WOMAN?!"

Cover or no cover, someone was beating up HIS girl and NO ONE did that to the God of Death's one true counterpart!

With the blind obtrusiveness that was an integral part of his character, Duo plunged through the first level window where the sounds of fighting were the strongest.

There was no doubt about it. His Hilde and Sally where going at it one on one, scuffling about on the floor like dogs. Tsk-tsking maturely, Duo walked forward and yanked both women up by their collars (forgetting conveniently that he had fought twice that day).

However, the yanking procedure jarred Hilde badly, and an assortment of cards flew out of her sleeves.

Sally's eyes were wide with fury, "You were cheating!"

"Will you both calm down?!"

It was only then that both women looked up at their captor, the blazing blue eyes, the wild brown hairthe priest's collar

"DUO?!"

He couldn't hide a smug grin, "The God of Death himself."

Hilde and Sally exchanged looks.

"You bastard! How dare you break up an honest fight?!"

"What do you think you're doing here! We're hiding out for a reason!"

And suddenly, for the third time that day, Duo was at the wrong end of a fist.

He suddenly wondered where all his luck had gone.

Heero crouched on a tree branch, cat-like, watching the window of his mission. She was moving about in her room, making final preparations for bed, brushing her hair, turning down the sheets, changing into her nightgown

The last of which he had missed while climbing down the wall, and man, did he regret it. Relena switched off the lights in her room and got into bed. Heero fantasized about how that soft (if loud) bed would feel smooth and delicious, and about how he would be warmed by the heat of Relena snuggled against his chest. Her long, beautiful hair would tickle his nose, and she would sigh softly as she gave herself up to sleep.

He was so absorbed in his daydream that he did not notice the lights in the bathroom go on until he turned. The young, curvaceous Sylvia Noventa was walking towards the sink, yawning widely. She leaned over in her short nightgown and washed her face.

He quickly jerked his head away, mindful of maidenly modesty.

The mirror, which was parallel to the large bay window in front of the bath, picked up this movement easily, and Sylvia, in turn, saw it as she dried her face on a hand towel. She only saw the outline of a man on a tree, but it was enough. Sylvia Noventa began screaming as the shadow slipped out of the tree and into the cover of night.

A/N: Don't worry Iris and everyone else, I still have plans for this windowNext, on 'The Ward' Relena and Sylvia begin to explore the gardensand just what happened to out bruised and bloodied Duo?

Oh, and one last thing, my email likes to go only cleaning sprees (well, actually my computer tells me it will start cleaning if I don't empty my mailbox, so I get rid of my review alerts to conserve what little space I get). If you left your email on a review, it probably got deleted. If you wanted to ask me something privately or say something else, you'll have to email me directly. Gomen ne!


	6. In which day dawns, Sylvia gets a missio...

Chapter VI- In which day dawns, Sylvia gets a mission, and Duo compares women toÖpickles

Chapter VI- In which day dawns, Sylvia gets a mission, and Duo compares women topickles?!

A/N: Ano ::sighs:: chapter five had a lot of grammar errors, didn't it? Gomen ne, I did it at one a.m. and was not entirely there grammatically.

::Godzilla-Relena beats Moonkitty over the head with her grammar wand::

Moonkitty: Ouchie!

Day had dawned over a grumpy mansion. Sylvia's screams had awakened the entire Noventa household (except Relena, who wasn't asleep in the first place). The two very beat-up and somewhat smug head bodyguards had done a quick search of the grounds and claimed they had found nothing (when they returned to their office, they had found Duo and the pack of cards were gone as well.)

Mr. and Mrs. Noventa (who were both certain their daughter was delusional) had left shortly afterwards, leaving Relena alone to soothe the distraught teenager. Needless to say, both of them didn't get much sleep that night.

By this time, our harried heroine was ready to throw away her pacifist ideals and pick up the nearest handgun to go on a killing spree.

And it was showing, too. Exhaustion marked her normally pretty face and her long blond hair crackled with static, even though she had bathed that morning in the antiquated shower (there was no way she was going near the bathtub knowing the things she knew!). Sylvia, however, seemed to show no signs of fatigue. Clever makeup hid her crow's feet and she seemed to be a living streak of energy. One night without sleep did nothing to her.

Relena couldn't help being scathing in her misery- the girl had never really had any important responsibilities, had she? Her chief concerns, it seemed, were school, fashion, and boys (or, more specifically, Heero Yuy). Relena paused her thoughts momentarily. Was it jealousy at Sylvia's freedom that angered her, or the fact that she had a crush on Heero Yuy?

She shook her head. She didn't have time to think these thoughts. Besides, she didn't like where they would lead

"Relena? Are you ready yet?" Syvlia asked through the door.

The newest member of the Noventa family tied back her hair in exasperation and flung open the door for Sylvia who was, of course, stunning, even though it was a Saturday.

While Relena had opted for shorts and a tank top (her usual casual wear), Sylvia was bedecked in a lovely cheery-print sundress.

Relena decided that she had been spending too much time alone. Whenever she had a day off, she had let everything go, style, worries, everything, because there was no one to complain about her posture or dress or demeanor. She could relax comfortable in sweats or sleep away most of the day.

A social life beyond work was becoming a foreign concept to her.

"What are you wearing?" they asked each other simultaneously.

"Casual clothes!" they answered each other at the same time.

Relena looked her companion up and down, "I think we are on different wave lengths."

"I agree."

"Anything planned today?"

"Yes!" Sylvia replied vehemently.

Relena was slightly taken aback by the violent reaction, "What is it?"

"Look, Relena, you believed me when I told you someone was peeking, right?"

Relena nodded slightly. Perhaps Heero had remained a little bit longer to see if she was all right. Or perhaps he really did have an interest in the beautiful granddaughter of the man he had killed.

Yes, typical of Heero to be so stupidly ridiculous.

Ouch. Where had that come from?

Sylvia was continuing on, unaware of her "sister's" mental confusion, "I believe we should go look for traces. I'll bet you anything that that guy left some clues as to who he was."

Relena kept her opinions to herself. The idea of stoic Heero Yuy thinking of any girl 'that way' was amusing. But Duo, on the other handNo, it couldn't be, he had been unconscious. Her eyes darted around the portico nervously as they walked to the dining room. Who knew who could be watching at that moment?

Still, there were more important things to focus on.

Like breakfast.

Her stomach was rumbling at the thought. She would have a bowl of cereal or perhaps toast. Oh, a bagel with jam! How delicious!

She snorted to herself. Dreaming about breakfast foods? One day under the roof of the Noventa house had driven her batty!

There was no way the Noventas could get meat into their breakfast foods.

Sylvia stopped in front of the dining room's door and smiled at Relena, "I can tell we're going to be really good friends."

She pushed open the door and led Relena to a seat. It was just them again- the adults must have found some other thing to do. Relena wondered if they were ever there at all. It was no wonder that Sylvia had fallen in love with Heero, she had probably talked to him more than she ever had to her parents!

A maid brought in two covered plates- another thing Relena was unused to. She and Pegan usually sat down at the kitchen table together. She had been served before in a household, but certainly not regularly and definitely not for something as casual as breakfast.

The plates were uncovered. Relena's eyes widened.

Scrambled eggs mixed with bacon bits, two sausages, and buttered toast. Relena let out a small wail.

"What? Is something getting in your way?" Sylvia asked, already digging in to her hearty breakfast.

Relena heaved a sigh, "Just my pride."

She picked up the toast and took a careful bite.

Duo was shaking his head, "Your girlfriend eats like a bird, Heero. One day she'll collapse on you."

They were at their base camp with the portable television set displaying the dining room. They had turned off the volume because the morning gardeners had been nearby, and neither of them had bothered to put the sound back on again.

Heero glared at his friend, "You have your own problems to worry about," He looked pointedly at his friend's eye, "Did I give you that nasty shiner last night?"

Duo smiled weakly, "Uh, about thatHilde knows we're here, by the way."

Heero smirked and nodded.

"Hey! Don't give me that look! I _let_ her hit me! Y'know, to help hervent herfrustration."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"You know, you can't complain."

There was no reply.

"I saw what happened to your side. That is one_ nasty_ bruise."

"I fell out of a tree."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

They were silent for a short while, Heero crouching as he folded up the bedrolls and Duo sitting cross-legged as he nursed his multiple wounds.

"You know, maybe we should call Wufei and tell him his 'woman' is herelet him in on the bet"

Heero shook his head, "Bad idea. Next thing you know, we're overrun with the lot of them."

Duo nodded, placing a thumb on his chin as he thought, "I think my next move will be to get Hilde alone and try and talk with her."

"Hn."

"That sounded awfully sarcastic for a man without emotions."

"Maybe she doesn't want to talk."

"Heero," Duo said seriously, eyes level, "You may be a perfect soldier, but you're a baby when it comes to dealing with women. Women areWomen are"

"At least I have a vocabulary," Heero interrupted.

"Women are picklesNo wait, that's not right," Duo flipped his long braid over his shoulder, "Ah yes," he rose a finger and turned up his nose in a superior way, "Women are fickle. They're like opening Pandora's box because you never know what to expect. However, there is one thing that will always stay constant in a female," he paused dramatically, "the need to converse. They can't let things happen, they need to talk it over and make sense of it. They're always searching for hidden meanings, even when there are none.

"And lastly, they need to test you all the time like," he struggled for the correct word, "like deranged math teachers!" He waited for a moment to let that sink in. Heero merely glared at him, "They want to see your reactions to thingsthey'll drive you wild."

"Ah, yes," Heero said, enjoying the chance to prod his friend's pride, "Wufei wrote me an interesting letter about the fainting incident."

"What else was I supposed to do?!" Duo shouted furiously, "It was a trick question!"

"Still, I don't suppose saying _that_ and fainting would be the right answer."

Duo crossed his arms and arranged his features into a look of wounded pride, "No one is ever going to allow me a chance to explain."

Heero lifted a hand in acceptance, "So explain."

Duo's mind spiraled back to that fateful night.

He had come back tired from a long day at the scrap heap, covering for Hilde because of her appointment with the doctor. Did anyone mention how nice he had been to cover for her instead of leaving her extra work for tomorrow? No. Everyone conveniently forgot about the only redeeming thing Duo had done in the situation.

Well, Hilde had no right to spring the baby ploy on him.

So what if they had an intimate relationship? They were both mature!

Well, sort of.

"Duo," she had said in a really soft and purring voice as she caressed her belly, "What would you say if I told you I was pregnant?"

He had turned ghastly pale, "You'd keep it? Why don't you get an abortion? We're-"

But before he could finish his eyes rolled back and he had fainted.

She packed her bags, wrote him a note saying it had been a 'test' and he had failed, and left him on the spot.

But what she didn't know, because he couldn't tell her citing his unconscious state, was that he really did love her and he wanted to be with her forever, but that he thought that she shouldn't have a baby seeing as they were both so young.

Duo returned to the present time. Now he _had_ to get Hilde back before Heero got Relena. He looked over to his fellow former pilot and drew a breath to explain. Then he released it.

"Never mind, it's too complicated for you to understand."

Now he would have to endure smug smirks for the rest of the day.

Sylvia threw her fork on her empty plate. Relena swallowed her last bite of toast.

"Okay, Relena, it's time to impart on our quest!"

The most powerful teenager of her time was pulled to her feet and dragged out the door to the gardens.

She prayed that Duo and Heero had found a good place to hide.

A/N: Okay, next time on 'The Ward'- Sylvia and a reluctant Relena go clue hunting while Heero and Duo avoid capture. Andalas! Another encounter with the Twig and Ape-Woman! Ohand should Wufei join in on the madness? I think so. I like to make fun of Wufei ::Moonkitty cackles evilly, then pauses:: But maybe it's getting too confused. Maybe no one wants to here about why Wufei and Sally are having a down time in their relationship. Feedback and opinions are appreciated!


	7. In which Relena and Sylvia go hunting an...

CHAPTER VII-In Which Relena and Sylvia go hunting and chaos reins

CHAPTER VII-In Which Relena and Sylvia go hunting and chaos reins

A/N: Hehehe.I can't believe this story is already SEVEN chapters longbut I can't help it

OOO! News! First, I'm writing and drawing a HyxRP doujinshi that will be a light comedy/romanceif you are interested in posting (completely for FREE, mind you) the DJ on your site, email me at [lunarswan@yahoo.com][1] and I will email you a sampler.

Secondly, I will be going to an art thing at Calarts in Southern California from JULY 14th-AUGUST 11th. Updates will be few and far between then, I will be attending classes from 8 am to 10 pm every day except Sunday. Gomen, ne!

The day was bright and sunny, and the garden smelled fresh and beautiful. The summer flowers were blooming in a large variety of colors, sending their beautiful scents to the two women who were walking quickly over a sandy path.

Actually, one was walking and the other was being dragged behind.

And the flowers were smelling sweet to attract insects to come so they could distribute pollen and reproduce, not because some girl decided she wanted to take a stroll in the gardens that fine summer afternoon.

"Sylvia," Relena pleaded, "We aren't professionals! What do we know about clues and traces? Besides, the gardeners have come already!"

Sylvia ignored her "sister" and stopped in front of the elegant sequoia. Its branches twisted upwards in a hauntingly beautiful way, and it was an easy climb for even the most inexperienced of Peeping Toms. The second floor window was easily visible.

"Aha!" she said in a detective-sort of voice, picking up a leaf fron a twig like branch near the base.

"'Aha,' what?" Relena asked leaning forward.

It wasn't a leaf. It was a small part of forest green cloth.

Heero Yuy was dead.

"Pause!" Duo screamed, looking over at the small video monitor.

"There is no 'pause' in 'I Spy,' Duo," Heero said smugly, "Either ask or forfeit. I swear I can get any answer in only three guesses."

Duo looked desperate, but Heero was wearing that annoying smirk that _always_ rubbed the braided boy the wrong way.

__

Fine, two can play that game, you prick, he thought joyously.

He glanced at the video monitor again. The two girls were already heading out of range of the rose garden, so he leaned back casually, disguising his move to flick the toggle that activated the view from the beginning of the maze with a stretch.

"I spy with my little eyes, two blonde women heading this way."

Heero glared at him, "Duo, you know perfectly well that-" his cold blue eyes finally settled on the monitor, "Sylvia and Relena!"

Duo grinned, "Only one guess, perfect soldier. You lose."

He was silenced by a quick and hard braid yank.

"Duo, we have to get out of the middle of the maze," he whispered, not wanting to take any chances.

Duo grumbled something about the damage done to the roots of his hair.

"We'll split up and hide the equipment under the bushes," Heero said decisively, and it was done.

"Green shirt, eh?" Sylvia said to herself, rubbing the cloth between her fingers.

Relena smiled, "It could have been anyone's, Sylvia."

She shook her head, "No! It was the man who destroyed my maidenhood!"

"Uh, Sylvia, you do know what 'maidenhood' means, right?"

She turned bright red, "Of course I do, I mean, they looked at me in a way that only my husband is supposed to."

"So, you'll have to kill this guy."

Sylvia sighed and nodded, "Or marry him."

Relena felt a sudden burst of protectiveness fill her but she suppressed it. What Heero Yuy did with his spare time was of no concern of hers.

They were wandering through the maze now, and Relena was certain they were lost. Sylvia, however, was too mad to be worried about being trapped in bushes. She was still muttering curses under breath- nothing as vulgar as Relena would have used, but the venom behind them was warning enough as to her mood.

They were turning a corner.

It was an accident.

But Heero Yuy, who had been running at a full sprint had crashed into Relena.

Sylvia recognized the shirt immediately.

"YOU PERVERT!"

"Stupid Heero Yuy doesn't know how to sneak around properly," Duo was saying to himself. He dropped from the tree he had climbed satisfied that the coast was clear and that he was safe.

"Only, I, the great Shingami, the master of stealth, the greatest of-"

"Maxwell."

Duo Maxwell recognized that voice all too well.

"Wufei Chang."

"Lady Une said that this estate was Sally's new post. I didn't know you worked here too."

"Duo smiled carefully, "Well, not exactly."

"Oh?" Wufei's voice seemed mocking.

"And I didn't know you had such an interest in Preventer Water."

Wufei blushed, "Uhdon't. She's my partner, that's all. She just wanted some time to herself."

Duo grinned impishly, "Translated into woman's terms, that means she was testing you."

"Testing me?"

Duo slung an arm around the other man's shoulder, "You must be really inexperienced with women. I just happen to be an expert with these 'tests.' Let me give you some advice"

"I swear, Sally, I didn't think you were the type to like controlling men," Hilde said, goading her friend on.

Hilde and Sally were doing their morning grounds check, a boring job. Sally tossed a braid over her shoulder, "Wufei can be very considerate."

"He also likes nothing better than to spout his sexist ideals." Hilde said, laughing.

"I don't like him for that!" Sally protested, "I was trying to change him."

"Prove it!"

Sally narrowed her eyes, "Fine, Hilde. I won't take any orders at all from Wufei. Next time we see him, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"

Hilde laughed even louder, "Girl power!"

They both had no clue that they would be meeting him very, very soon.

A/N: Gomen! It's REALLY short! Next chapter comes out soon! It's just so hot

   [1]: mailto:lunarswan@yahoo.com



	8. In which Heero is assaulted, Duo is give...

CHAPTER VIII- In which Heero is assaulted, Duo is given a new mission, and Sally becomes a hard core feminist

CHAPTER VIII- In which Heero is assaulted, Duo is given a new mission, and Sally becomes a hard core feminist

A/N: As requested, some sweet HyxRP included at the end

Heero looked up at the person he was crushing, observing the beautiful hair that was spread out on the ground, the questioning green-blue eyes, and the delicate pink lips.

__

Relena

Their eyes locked, and slowly they're faces moved closer-

"YOU PERVERT!" Sylvia screamed from above, kicking him in his bruised ribs, "You were watching me last night!"

Heero groaned and rolled off of Relena, much to the dismay of both of them.

"What do you want?" he growled, picking himself off the ground and then helping Relena up.

She sucked in a furious breath when she realized to whom she was speaking, but her tongue still got the better of her, "You were in the tree outside the bathroom last night! You watched me-"

She turned a brilliant shade of red. And Heero looked uncomfortable.

Relena grinned at Heero's torment, "Now she'll either have to kill you or marry you."

In remembering her oath, Sylvia perked up some, "Which is it to be, Mr. Yuy?"

He suddenly looked dangerous. His eyes glinted, and his mouth twitched into a smirk, "I choose neither. I am merely here to protect Relena from terrorist threats. Not wanting to cause any upset in your family, I deemed it better if I was to do so without your knowledge."

His smirk broadened. When all else fails, use fancy words.

Sylvia creased her brow in confusion.

Relena's eyes were dancing with laughter, "So you were ogling me, instead?"

His mouth dropped open, "Yes! I meanI wasn't looking at either of you!" Heero decided that now was the time to salvage his pride, "Besides, there isn't much to look at, is there?"

Relena's smile became fixed and feral, "Oh, you are going to regret that Heero Yuy."

The cruel smile returned to his face, "And just how are you going to do that?"

"I'm not as easy to spy on as you think. I've had plenty of experience avoiding it before, and I can do so again."

Sylvia looked over to Relena, "What about my revenge?"

Relena took her hand, "Now is not the time. But don't worry," she looked pointedly at Heero, "Revenge will come soon."

They stomped off. Heero looked smug for about three minutes before he realized what he had done. He began to track them again, praying the damage hadn't been done.

"So, these 'tests' are a way to see if we will be good mates?" Wufei was asking philosophically.

Duo nodded. Wufei was seated on a garden bench, and his braided friend was pacing, "You see, Wufie, they like to make sure that their lovers care for them. They're very cunning and like their men to go along with everything they say. Of course you can't go along with everything, but you can pretend."

Wufei nodded, "An intelligent counter attack."

"But women also want their men to be assertive and decisive. You have to watch out for that too."

Wufei stood up, "Duo, this is too confusing! Women are so stupid and weak! I swear, the best way to deal with them is to gag them and lock them up!"

Unfortunately for Wufei and Duo, the two women they were trying to understand had passed just in time to hear that last phrase.

Sally stepped into clear view, "Wufei Chang, what are you insinuating?!"

Duo smiled and pushed him forward, "Be confident and manly! Win her back!"

Wufei gave him a look and then yanked his collar, "Oh yes. Woman, you come with me. I'm sick and tired of this ridiculous game of hide-and-seek. My first wife was never so insistent on not listening to what I told her. All you want to be is a man. I'm afraid one of these days you may end up looking like one. It is for that reason that I believe-"

Sally pulled out her gun, "So help me, Wufei, stop ordering me around! Do you think I left you for some stupid test? I left because you pissed me off! 'Do this, woman,' 'Do that, woman.' I was only comforted by the fact that there was no other woman in the entire ESUN who would ever go out with you. Now I know why they couldn't put up with you, so scamper back to whatever hole you came from and leave me alone!"

Wufei glanced back at Duo, trying not to blush at his 'woman's' outburst, "Sally, you cannot fool me with your temptress ways. I know what's good for you so you'd better just-"

Sally fired her gun between his leg, right below a vital area.

"Don't tempt me, Chang."

Duo looked over to Hilde, ignoring his stuttering friend, "Hey, babe, how are you doing? I was wondering if you wouldn't mind going somewhere for us to talk-"

Hilde shook her head, "No way! How dare _your_ friend treat _my_ friend like that!" she laced an arm around Sally, "Come on, Sal, I'll get you away from these creeps."

Wufei hissed and put his hands on his waist. "Thanks to you and your 'tests,' we just lost both of our girlfriends."

Duo wasn't listening. He was considering ways to convince Hilde to talk with him. It looked like the only way for him to do that was to get Wufe and Sally back together.

He looked over at his selfish and sexist friend. Convince Wufei to be a caring and considerate man?

Lady Luck had obviously abandoned him.

Sylvia had gone ahead to make arrangements for dinner. Relena was rubbing her empty stomach solemnly. Heero darted out from the trees and whirled her around.

One hundred lunar credits was a lot of money. It couldn't end like that.

She looked at him angrily, "What?"

He winced. Not a good sign.

"Look, Relena, I only said that to get rid of Sylvia. You really are a lot to look at. I like looking at you. I just wanted to-"

She wasn't buying it. He was better with actions than words.

He kissed her.

She kissed back.

Sylvia had been opening the door to call Relena in. There was a smile on her face, and what she saw made it begin to fade away, "Relena," she said softly, "how could you?"

Relena's eyes popped open long enough to see Sylvia retreat to the house. She struggled out of Heero's arms.

"Fuck!"

Heero was, to say the least, confused. He had found the experience very pleasureable. It hurt him that Relena did not feel the same, "What is it?"

Relena looked up and him and bit her lower lip, "Sylvia saw us."

Heero stared at her, "So?"

"If I don't calm her down, she'll tell her parents!" she turned, but then looked back at him, "We'll finish this later, okay?"

Heero found himself very eager for that day to come, and his reasons had nothing to do with money.

A/N: :::cackle cackle cackle::: Things get worse when next time! A big thank you goes out to all of you wonderful people who have reviewed, thank you so very, very much! I'm sorry I can't reply to all of you. If you want to ask a question, please email me directly at [lunarswan@yahoo.com][1] Also, please keep it up with those suggestions, Moonkitty appreciates them!!!

   [1]: mailto:lunarswan@yahoo.com



	9. In which Duo plays matchmaker, Sylvia an...

CHAPTER IX- In which Duo plays matchmaker, Sylvia and Relena have a discussion, and the bathroom window is used again

CHAPTER IX- In which Duo plays matchmaker, Sylvia and Relena have a discussion, and the bathroom window is used again

A/N: Thank you all for you wonderful reviewsMoonkitty purrsplease keep it up! I'd just like to explain to everyone why updates from here on in will not be as frequent as usual. This week is my last week at home before I leave for a summer art thing at CalArts in Southern California, where computer access will be very limited and classes will last from 8 AM to 10 PM. Moonkitty does not think she will be sleeping much. Anyway, This week I also have to finish (::ahem:: actually 'start') packing, but I should have at least one more chapter to ALL of my stories in process.

My trip will last from **_July 14th_** to **_August 11th_**, so gomen nasai!

Thank you all for your continued support! You guys rule!!!

Duo wandered through the mansion aimlessly. Thanks to his Preventer uniform he was never stopped or questioned and left to his own hurried thoughts. To get Wufei and Sally together, he would need to get Heero out of the way, but how? Heero only had one weakness, and Duo could not afford for Heero to become distracted with that weakness, because that would mean losing the bet.

__

Knowing Heero, they haven't even talked yet. He's too innocent to even try and touch her, Duo reassured himself.

He opened the next door, and found an antique blue-tiled bathroom. His eyes scanned over the bathtub, the large window, and then he turned away. _If only I could get Hilde to take a bath in there._ He sighed and moved on.

He paused with his hand on the handle to the next room. Loud voices were coming from within.

"Sylvia, how many times do I have to tell you that it was just an accident?!" Relena shouted, the noise easily permeated through the door and into the hall.

"You kissed him! How can it be an 'accident?!'" Sylvia was sobbing.

Duo grinned. Heero had competition? Who knew?

"Sylvia, _he_ kissed _me_, and I think it was only out ofthat we met each other again."

"You were kissing the man who killed my grandfather and spied on me from a tree!"

The eavesdropper dropped his head. Heero had already kissed Relena. Duo was way behind in the game.

Obviously, Relena had had enough, because there was a slamming sound and an angry accusation tore through the air, "What are you jealous of, that I kissed a murderer, or that you wanted to be in my place?!"

The door flung open and Relena paused at the sight of Duo in the hall.

"Duohi," she said, a slight blush staining her cheeks.

He grinned," Yo, Jousan."

Sylvia looked out the door, "Agh! Relena! I can't believe you're cheating on Heero!"

She spun around, "What?!" Sylvia pointed at Duo, "This is just a friend, Sylvia!"

One of Sylvia's eyes twitched, "So, you admit to liking Heero and Heero only then?"

"No!" Relena sputtered, "I understand how you feel about him, Sylvia, I would never do that!"

Sylvia sniffed and slammed her door.

Duo smiled, "Family troubles so soon, Relena?"

She shrugged sheepishly.

He patted her shoulder, "I hear that there's nothing like a relaxing bath to soothe away mental stress."

She looked at him blankly and nodded, "Yes, I suppose you're right, Duo. That sounds like a good idea."

She gave him a distracted hug and wandered into her room. Duo smirked.

_Score!_

Wufei was sitting on the log where Duo had left him, scowling, "What do you mean 'lessons in love,' Maxwell? What were you doing up at the house?"

Duo held up a hand, "Please, not so many questions. The Love Guru cannot concentrate."

Wufei's jaw dropped. "What happened to 'Shinigami?'"

Duo sighed theatrically, "There is no God of Death involved in matters of love!" The braided boy pulled out a paper, "I have drawn out some key pointers for you, choice reactions in certain situations-"

Wufei scoffed at the paper, "Most of that material could be considered X-ratedI think you got a little too explicit, Duo."

Duo snatched the paper, stared at it and then tore it up, "Okay, so maybe I did, but you can't help a guy who's lost his girlfriend, can you? SO what if I fantasize"

"About Sally?" Wufei said coldly.

"No, not really, just it in a broad sense. Calm down, man, I'm trying to help you."

The composed Chinese man pulled out his katana formally from his built. Duo wondered if perhaps his traditional Chinese garb was a little too snug. That could explain the attitude. His first step would be to drag him out and get him some new-

"I will defend the honor of Major Sally Po! Choose your weapon, Duo Maxwell!"

The other boy grinned, "Words."

"Words?! Those are not a proper weapon!"

'They are if I say they are. Look, Wufei, if you want Sally back, you are going to need my help."

Wufei lifted the katana over his head, "If it weren't for you I wouldn't have lost her in the first place!"

Duo smiled smugly, "Oh, yes you would have."

"Oh, no I wouldn't have."

Duo stopped, "I'm not going to get stuck on that childish and cliché cycle of words."

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Yes!"

"No!"

"So you _don't_ want me to continue on with this cycle?"

"Exactly!"

"Okay."

They were both silent. Suddenly, Wufei rose a shaking finger to Duo, "You tricked me!"

"I told you words were my weapons."

"Stupid American baka."*

"Delusional Chinese prick."**

"So, are we going shopping or not?" Wufei said suddenly.

"Sure." Duo replied, "But I have to make another stop first."

Heero was napping in their newly reestablished base camp. Duo grinned at this, _he's obviously worn out from showing so much emotion._ So, the boy in priest's clothing crept over, waiting for Heero to sit up and pull a gun on him.

It happened when he was about six feet away, "Don't even think about It, Duo."

"About what?"

"Trying to shock me."

"Oh, that?" Duo asked innocently, "Why would I want to do that?"

"Just don't, you baka."

Actually," Duo said in a wounded voice, while secretly adjusting his feet to get a better grip on the ground, "I wanted to invite you to watch Relena with me." Duo smirked, "She's going to take a bathon that second floor bathroom with the big window"

Heero's eyes turned steely and dangerous, "This is not a peep show, Duo, don't you dare think about Relena like that-"

He lunged forward. Duo darted away.

There were only three things at which Duo was superior to Heero, piloting a shuttle, running away, and the third was purely a matter of opinion.

Heero sighed. Now he would have to endure the ghastly torture of guarding Relena personally from Duo.

He quickly decided that there have been worst missions.

Relena was staring at the window of the bathroom with and intelligent air. _Yes,_ she decided,_ there's only one way to solve this problem._

She went back to her room to get a sheet and two tacks.

Heero pulled himself up unto the branch of the tree that he had climbed before. Relena wasn't there yet. Certain that the foliage of the sequoia would hide him, he nestled into a comfortable position and kept a sharp eye out for Duo Bundle -of-hormones Maxwell.

Relena returned in a short blue terry robe that Heero found fascinating. He grinned as he imagined her without it. She shook out a white sheet (what was she doing with a sheet) and leaned over to one corner of the window. The movement opened the robe slightly, giving Heero a view of the tops of her breasts.

Where was Maxwell?

She repeated the process for the other corner and shook the sheet one last time. Heero sighed. She had made a curtain. A white curtain that still displayed silhouettes.

He looked around, but there was no sign of Duo. That dirty little creep was forcing him to sit through this-

Relena shrugged out of the robe.

Heero completely forgot why he was there.

His eyes widened as she lowered herself into the bath.

Duo would die later.

Duo dragged Wufei into the guardroom where Hilde and Sally were seated sipping coffee.

They both dropped their mugs.

Wufei was wearing his Preventer jump suit with the jacket off and hanging at his waist. He was wearing a tight fitting T-shirt and combat boots. The style was lazy and intriguing.

Sally reminded herself not to drool.

Duo winked at him and Wufei walked forward, "Sally, would you mind terribly if you went out with me for a date?"

Sally was to brain numbe to say anything.

Hilde was looking up at Duo with shining eyes, "Duo, that was so sweet of you to help him out!"

_Double Score!_

Next time in 'The Ward:' Duo gets his talk, Wufei gets his date, and Heero decides it's time he saw Relena again. But what will Sylvia do about this alarming situation?


	10. In which Wufei and Sally eat, Hilde and ...

CHAPTER X- In which Wufei and Sally eat, Hilde and Duo talk, and Heero and Relena are naughty

CHAPTER X- In which Wufei and Sally eat, Hilde and Duo talk, and Heero and Relena are naughty!

A/N: I've been through Hell and survived, and I even got a T-shirt! (It was too big on me though). So, This chapter came out thanks to a DARE with MIAKA MOUSE over who can write a chapter faster. She is writing this INCREDIBLE fic called "So CloseAnd Yet So Far." It is a simply stunning piece of work- I recommend you read it right now and then plague her like I do to write more of it. You can find it in a lot of places, like [http://blissfulignorance.com/main.html][1]

Well, my friends, the action begins tonight!

RECAP OF WHAT HAPPENED SO FAR: Relena Darlian has been made a ward of the Noventa family. Heero and Duo have come to keep an eye on heractually, Heero came to keep an eye on her, Duo came to try and communicate with Hilde, who didn't want to talk to him and instead works with her partner, Sally Po. Well, then Wufei shows up, and Duo manages to get them out on a date together so Hilde will speak to him while Heero was busy playing peeping tom (and he hasn't been caught yet, the sneaky devil). Sylvia turns out to have a huge crush on Heero Yuy, and is rather jealous of Relena right now, who seemed to have earned his sole attentions (and a kisswoohoohoo!). And this chapter will now begin with our first lovely couple, Sally and Wufei

PLEASE NOTE: There is LIME in this chapter between Heero and Relena. If you don't like the taste of this citrusy fruit (or a scene that has sexual undertones), pleasedon't read it. Just skip it. There, problem solved.

Godzilla-Relena: The problem would be solved without and inconvenience to the readers if Heero had any control over his hands!

Moonkitty: Or his "gun"

Godzilla-Relena: You pervert!

Moonkitty: You really shouldn't complain, just look at those two go!

Godzilla-Relena: Agh! Relena-chan! Don't do that! You are supposed to be pure! You're tarnishing our image!

Relena: But Heero and I love each other.

Moonkitty: Agh! You naughty children! Go to your rooms!

Relena :;grinning:: Heero doesn't have a room. He sleeps outside.

Heero: It's cold out therewhy don't I get a tent?

Relena: So he should stay with me!

Moonkitty: No way, you hormonally driven teenagers! You are now not allowed within ten feet of each other until you reach the age of eighteen!

Heero and Relena: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Godzilla-Relena: Just ignore the authoressshe's a pervert with a wild imagination and innocent Gundam Wing characters to play with

Moonkitty: HEY! Read my disclaimer!

::NO GUNDAM WING CHARACTERS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS FIC::

Moonkitty: Just prone to taking lots of cold showers.

Godzilla-Relena: ::siiiiiiiiiiiigh::

Moonkitty: Anyway, on with the show!

Wufei's dark eyes glittered in the candlelight as he surveyed the menu seriously.

Sally watched him, resting her chin on the backs of her hands. Wufei had arranged a candlelit dinner in a pretty nice restaurant, had acted politely to the waitress, never once called her 'Onna,' and was acting (outwardly at least) like a complete and total

"Alien."

He looked up, confused, "What?"

She frowned as she drew in a deep breath to explain, "Wufei, you are acting like an alien. This is not the Wufei I know."

He smirked then, and she lowered her hands to the edge of the table. His words were low and dangerous, "Do not fear, Sally, all Changs are dragons, and you must be cautious, for dragons breathe fire."

She did not like the challenge in his voice, "Well, all Pos are.fire extinguishers, so you better watch out."

He rewarded her with a short laugh. She raised an eyebrow with mock seriousness.

"I wasn't joking."

He reached over and laced his fingers into hers, "Neither was I."

_Alien, please feel free to stay!_ Sally pleaded silently, _This is a change I could get used to._

"You wanted to talk, so talk."

Duo stared at Hilde. She was standing, hands on her hips, looking at him intently. He flipped his braid over his shoulder, "You know that test? The one that you surprised me with?"

She looked surprised. Duo _always_ used to beat around the bush on _every_ subject.

"What about it?"

_Steel yourself_, she reminded herself, _No falling for the puppy eyes._

Duo sat down on the bench outside the main patio and looked up at the star-filled sky, "I wanted to make sure that it was the right thing for you. I love you and I don't ever want to force you into something you don't want. I mean, you have your life ahead of you, your career. I don't want to be the one to fuck that upI don't even know if you feel as I do but-" he swallowed. He wondered what she was thinking, "I love you, Hilde. I'd love any child we conceive together, now or in the future. I just want to be the guy standing beside you all the way.except maybe not when you're in labor. I heard some nasty horror stories-"

"Duo, do you know how to be serious?"

He grinned up at her, happy that she wasn't going to slap him for being overly sappy (he couldn't really afford it, seeing as he was pretty badly beaten up already). His smile faded slightly, "Babe, perhaps behind the faces of the most exuberant people lie the most serious of hearts."

She sat down on the bench beside him and rested her head on his shoulder, "Perhaps I was scared, Duo. We're so young, and so obsessed with each other- I was afraid it had just been a habit. We're so used to only having each other, and we're both so young-"

Duo turned to Hilde. He took her hand in his, "Hilde, will you go out with me again?"

Her expression was hesitant, "I don't see why we have to push it so soon-"

His grip tightened, "Hilde, this is important to me. Please go out with me!"

At first she looked puzzled, and then mildly accusing, "Are you hiding something from me, Duo? Why are you pushing the issue so much?"

_I may run, I may hide, but I never tell a lie._

He swallowed, "Hilde, I'm sorry. I did it because I wanted Heero to have some motivation to ask Relena out-"

She looked suddenly very dangeorus, "Duo? What did you do?"

"It was a bet, an honest bet. Who would get together first, sort of thing."

Her hand pulled out of his.

"You played me like a puppet!"

"Hilde, it's the truth!"

"You played me like a fool!"

"I didn't mean to, I swear!"

She stood up, blue eyes blazing, "This is it, Duo Maxwell. Why can't I trust you? Do I mean nothing to you? I'm a person, not a bet!" she leaned forward, posture threatening, "I won't let you two play this silly game with me, or Relena! I'm drawing the line here!"

She blazed out of the area like a burning comet of wrath.

Relena straightened her nightgown and yawned at the difficulties of the day. There had been a salad for dinner, and her stomach felt better, but she was still exhausted from the efforts of the day.

_But Heero kissed me, _she reminded herself, _Heero kissed me for the second time in our lives. Perhaps._

There was a rustling sound near her window, and she turned to confront the dark silhouette framed by the blue light of the night streaming through paned glass. He moved towards her, but his foot caught on the rug and he tripped. She darted forward and caught him, as she had once before.

"This is becoming a habit of ours," she whispered cheerfully. She had expected him to pick himself up, but he seemed to have gone lax in her arms, and his weight was dragging them to the floor, "Heero, get off of me!"

He lifted his arms and tightened them around her, "I don't want to."

She looked down at him, and he looked up at her until he moved slightly so that they were at eye level. Relena sighed at his strange behavior. They were both on the floor, looking like complete fools.

"Relena Darlian, I can't control myself around you," he said hoarsely, "and I've recently found out that I don't want to."

And then he kissed her, pushing her down so that she stretched out across the carpet,and his hands could roam over the body still covered in nightgown, so that he could look at her and smell her and taste her at his leisure.

"This feels good," he whispered.

She moaned a reply that was obviously in agreement.

His hands moved up and down from her ribs to her hips, brushing lightly, inflaming her with passion. Her hands, in turn, explored him, feeling the hard parts of him until she came to the hardest place of all.

"Releeeenaaaaah," he sighed, burrowing his head into her neck.

His hands moved down the outside of her legs, sweeping their way down to her knees and back up again.

She groaned.

Then, just as suddenly as the whole thing started, it stopped, and Heero moved off of her.

She mourned his loss, she longed for his warmth.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"He reached down to help her up, "I don't want our first time to be on a dirty floor."

She looked over to the place where his attention had become focused upon, "The bed is too loud."

He bit his lip.

The Perfect Soldier did not know what to do. He had quite a 'burden' to release, and he was fast running out of options.

"Maybe we should wait, then, make sure it's perfect," he said in a strained voice, as if every word was hard to say.

Relena had noticed Heero's predicament as well, and sighed, "Heero, neither of us are prepared, and we are both messy and tired and out of place in this strange house." She moved towards him and cautiously wrapped her arms around his waist. She was surprised at the strength with which he hugged back, "Maybe you're right.I'm so sorry."

He rested his cheek on the crown of her head, and she snuggled against his shoulder.

That when the door burst open, and the orange hallway light beamed in like a limelight on the couple as three shapes came into view.

"Heero Yuy," the leader of the trio growled, "How dare you trespass into my house to dishonor the girl I have adopted as my own?!"

Boris Noventa was a very angry man. Heero and Relena broke apart, eyeing each other and the vicious man that stood before them.

However, Relena's eyes wandered also to Sylvia, who was crying openly from betrayal, resentment, and jealousy.

"It was a lovely evening." Sally said carefully as she watched Wufei sign his name on the receipt.

"Yes," he replied, folding up his wallet and shoving it into his pocket, "Sally, I wanted to tell you that-"

"Alright, nobody move!"

The two looked up suddenly at the masked man who had entered the restaurant. A murmur of frightened voices rose, and several dishes were dropped onto the floor.

The assailant lifted a silver revolver up into the air as warning, "My friends are coming by to pick up any jewels you might be willing to part with. Please cooperate fully."

Wufei curled his lip with disgust, "What does this man think this is, some kind of Western?"

"Actually, yes. He's been wanted for over a year," Sally said matter-of-factly, "He's under the delusion that he is really a bandit from one of those old-style Western movies. He's also a clever thief and knows how to scheme."

Wufei narrowed his eyes and reached for the gun he kept in the back of his pants, "I think we can take him."

"Most definitely."

With the practiced experience of a tempered team, Wufei and Sally began to move.

Wufei faked a rush at the man, distracting him enough for Sally to get behind him and put him into a headlock.

She flashed Wufei a stunning smile over the head of the thief, and the Chinese warrior felt his heart poundit was the perfect date.

Several hours later, Wufei was walking Sally back to the Noventa mansion, his eyes only focused on her. She slipped his hand into his and leaned her head on his shoulder, "Good food, good service, and a dose of crime-fightingwhat a spectacular evening."

"It was a very pleasurable date," Wufei said stiffly, his face hot with embarrassment.

"It was very pleasurable company," Sally murmured.

She stopped and Wufei did too, his black eyes searching her's.

"Sally"

"Wufei! You're blushing!" Sally giggled, and leaned forward to give Wufei one of the best kisses of his life.

She giggled at his expression, feeling oddly like a teenager again, "I have to get back, Wufei, duty starts in five minutes."

She walked over to the gate to swipe her security card when she noticed that every light in the mansion was on, "What the hell is going on?!" she barked, rushing in and leaving Wufei alone on the street.

Wufei had not noticed Sally's hurried departure or the Noventa house at all. He lifted up a hesitant hand to his lips. Wufei Chang was in love! And, with the blind stupidity of someone in his predicament, he leapt the fence to go tell Duoof his good fortune!

He could not know that they all had more urgent and important matters on their minds.

Next Chapter: Heero and Boris Noventa have a showdown, Sylvia cries, and WAR breaks out throughout the residence! Also, Hilde has a conspiracy of her own to bring into the light as she tells Relena of Heero and Duo's bet! Watch out, Heeroyou may have defeated OZ and saved the world, but there's no way you are going to survive and Enraged Relena!

Godzilla-Relena: Mwahehehehehehe!

Heero: Eep!

Be thereor be trianglethat didn't come out right.=^.^=

   [1]: http://blissfulignorance.com/main.html



	11. In which there is a very short mini oper...

CHAPTER XI- In which there is a very short mini opera

CHAPTER XI- In which there is a very short mini opera

A/N: I caught a laziness bugI'm slowly recovering. Now that authoralert has ::sniffle:: disappeared for nonpaying members, I made a mailing list that will send you a notice every time I update. Go here: [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/moonkittysupdates][1] for more information! Take care everyone and thank you for you INCREDIBLE patience! I love you guys!

~moonkitty

PS This chapter is not very long. I just wanted to prove to eveyrone that I am still alive.

That was when the door burst open, and the orange hallway light beamed in like a limelight on the couple as three shapes came into view.

"Heero Yuy," the leader of the trio sang in a strong bass, "Heero Yuy!!!!

Boris Noventa was a very angry man. Heero and Relena broke apart, eyeing each other and the vicious creature that stood before them.

"Heero Yuy, you man of no honor,

What have you done to my adopted daughter?!"

"He's defiled her!" Sylvia and her mother sang, "He's defiled her!"

Heero looked to Relena in confusion, "Why is he singing?"

Relena shoved him aside and threw herself onto her knees at Boris Noventa's feet. Her voice, a warm second soprano, filled the room.

"Oh please, I pray you, spare his life!

I love him, I love him, and bear him no strife!

I have abided by all your ruuuuuuuules.

Now, I must take as stand,

For I know that Heero will ask for my haaaaand

"He's defiled her!" Sylvia and her mother sang, "He's defiled her!"

"I did not defile her! Stop singing!!!"

Boris Noventa straightened his jacket and pulled out a gun.

"Heero Yuy, I'm telling you,

Run away from this house

Like a foolish mouse

And never retuuuuuurn!"

Heero smirked, "Or?"

"I shall shoot you

And your body will buuuuurn!"

Relena got up and threw herself in front of Heero.

"STOP! Man! You narrow minded prick

I hate to command you

But you're making me siiiiick."

Music began swelling in the background. Relena swayed slightly as she sang,

"Heero was just a boy when I saw him

He pulled a gun to my head

And wished me dead

But that's changed.

"His loooooove for me

Is eternal.

And I know that he will always be.

By my side

Relena's eyes turned cold as she moved to the trio standing at the entrance of the room.

"But you three..

We are so different, I can't understand

Our relationship is getting out of haaaaaand!!!"

Mrs. Noventa lifted and eyebrow, "How?"

Relena lifted her face upward.

"I'd like to begin with the state of the meals.

You do not serve anything healthy

I can't believe that this is the state of the wealthy

The nutrition in your meals is so very poor

You are all a bunch of CARNIVOREEEEES!!!!!

I have spent these past few days in starvation

The thought of a salad is pure elation!"

Sylvia stepped forward,

"You never complained to any of us!"

Relena sighed and replied,

"My dear friend, who could I trust?

Should I trust you three,

Who would call my friends enemies?

I think noooooooot!

I think noooooooooot!

She turned to her adopted father and mother.

"Sylvia is in love with the man you hate!

He's in love with me and that is all it takes!

Syvliaaaaaa, I love you dearly,

But why can't you see things clearly?

What you feel is merely a crush.

You don't know him,

He doesn't know you,

I can't see what's the big hubbaloo

My sister in heart, I'm sorry my dear,

But I can not renounce my loooooooooove!

Relena looked over to Heero and smiled.

"Wake up, Heero."

Heero looked over at the singing characters and shook his head to free him of the operatic music.

"Wake up.

".up, Heero. Wake up." Heero opened his eyes and found that it was Duo's annoying face looking down on him instead of Relena.

"You." Heero growled, shoving him away, "What did you do? What happened?"

Duo shrugged, "You're the one who crawled back here tonight. What happened with Relena, huh? Did youyou know," Duo waggled his eyebrows.

Heero frowned and sat up and the memories came flooding back.

"I was discovered."

His thoughts were thrown violently back to that moment only a few hours ago.

The orange hallway light beamed in like a limelight on Heero and Relena as three shapes came into view.

"Heero Yuy," the leader of the trio growled, "How dare you trespass into my house to dishonor the girl I have adopted as my own?!"

Boris Noventa was a very angry man. Heero and Relena broke apart, eyeing each other and the vicious man that stood before them.

However, Relena's eyes wandered also to Sylvia, who was crying openly from betrayal, resentment, and jealousy.

"I can explain-" Relena said carefully, edging in front of Heero.

Boris Noventa shook his head violently, "This man KILLED my father! I cannot forgive such-"

Anastasia Noventa was nodding her head. Sylvia was bawling.

Heero's face contorted with rage. His blue eyes blazed, his dark hair stood on end. Relena anticipated his moving forward and held back a hand to warn him.

"Heero, this is my fight." She said in a low, angry tone. She then turned to the family standing before her, "To tell you the truth, I thought that this family was a joke. It was a petty ploy from my enemies in congress to draw back support amongst the public. I didn't have any interest in your family, your opinions, and most definitely not your choice in food. However, that opinion is changing. I have begun to regard you at least as friends, and I believed that we had a code of mutual respect. I am not your daughter, adopted or biological, but I thought I was a friend.

"This man," She gestured to Heero, "Saved the world twice. Yes, he made some mistakes along the way, but he learned from them. Your close-minded attitude hurts me."

Finally, she turned to Sylvia, "And you, my good friend, I'm sorry if I hurt you. This was all a big misunderstanding. If Heero chooses you over me, then I would do m best to understand. I can only tell you that I do love him, and whether he returns my feelings or not, that will never change. I do not believe my kissing him is a scandal or needs to be a secret." She swallowed and looked at each of them, "Do we have an agreement? Let's talk this out, not bicker."

Boris and Anastasia nodded. Sylvia stormed out.

Heero ran a hand through his hair.

Duo grinned, grasping his knees as he listened avidly to the recitation, "So, did you and her, you know.after the talk?"

He shook his head. "They agreed to let me plan scheduled visits and add more healthy food to the menu-"

"And after?"

"I left."

Duo frowned, "You left?"

"She said the word."

"What word?"

"'Love.'"

Duo blew out his breath, "Man, that's heavy."

Heero nodded absently, "Especially with the bet going on."

"Yeah, I guess I'm going to win this time."

Relena rolled her shoulders as she walked down the hall to her bedroom. She sighed and cracked her neck, well pleased with results of the "family discussion."

It was at that time that she was intercepted.

A dark haired security guard caught her arm, breathing heavily with fatigue, "Relena!"

"Hilde?"

The girl nodded and wiped perspiration from her brow, "Relena, I have to talk to you about Heero."

Relena nodded in confusion and opened the door for her friend to enter, "What's wrong?"

Hilde only spoke after they had both settled on Relena's bed, "Heero and Duo made a bet about us. I think it's important you know about it."

Relena's intrigued expression signaled Hilde to continue.

A/N: Next Chapter: Heero and Duo get drunk andwhat's this? Wufei reciting love poems? Tune in next chapter for more!!!

   [1]: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/moonkittysupdates



	12. In which Heero learns the wonders of fir...

ChapterXII--In which we learn the disadvantages to eavesdropping

A/N: Okay. Please don't kill me. I know what you're thinking. You're right. I'm evil. I'm bad. I KNOW!!! See my final A-N for more stuff.

DEDICATION: To kmf-chan, who asked and shall receive

Relena rolled her shoulders as she walked down the hall to her bedroom. She sighed and cracked her neck, well pleased with results of the "family discussion."

It was at that time that she was intercepted.

A dark haired security guard caught her arm, breathing heavily with fatigue, "Relena!"

"Hilde?"

The girl nodded and wiped perspiration from her brow, "Relena, I have to talk to you about Heero."

Relena nodded in confusion and opened the door for her friend to enter, "What's wrong?"

Hilde only spoke after they had both settled on Relena's bed, "Heero and Duo made a bet about us. I think it's important you know about it."

Relena's intrigued expression signaled Hilde to continue.

Hilde shifted her weight once before drawing a deep breath to begin, "Relena, Duo forced Heero into a bet to see which one of us would go out with them first. So, all of this time, it's been a big scama ploya trick to hurt you and me."

Relena frowned at this and then a remarkable thing happened. It was something that had Hilde had never seen the peace-loving foreign minister to do.

She broke into peals of unrestrained laughter.

"Ha! This is going to be so much fun!"

Hilde blinked. Twice. "You're not mad at Heero?"

Relena frowned in confusion, "Of course not. What good would that do?"

Hilde bit her lip as she tried to come to terms with what had just been said. "Relena, Duo and Heero are _using_ you and me to satisfy their pathetic male egos."

The blonde woman nodded and made a motion for the two of them to be seated at the edge of her squeaky bed. Hilde complied, somewhat shocked, waiting patiently as Relena sat and smoothed her skirt over her lap, "Hilde, I am perfectly aware of the emotions you are feeling right now, but I also believe anger is perhaps the worst method of getting revenge."

Hilde's eyebrows shot up, "_Revenge?!_"

Her companion shrugged, "Well, what else can we do? Refuse to speak with them? No. You and I both know Heero and Duo. What I suggest is that we lead them on."

"_Lead them on?!_" Hilde parroted in surprise.

"Of course. It is a very simple process. We let them think they are making progress and egg them on until they are certain we are head over heels for them and then--" Relena paused for dramatic effect "--we dump them!!!"

"Relena--"

"In my personal opinion, I believe that Duo's love for you is real. We can call it a test of his love."

Hilde ran a hand through her blue-black hair, "But what about Heero? Does he love you?"

"If he doesn't, he at least feel lust for me.and he has this sort of protective thing going on too."

Hilde gave Relena an irrepressible grin. "Okay, Relena. You won't be nervous aboutyou knowkissing Heero and stuff, will you?"

"I've already kissed Heero." Relena pointed out absently.

"You _have_?!" Hilde asked excitedly, shocked that Relena, the supposed "Ice Princess" and the "Emotionless as a Brick Wall Soldier" could even be capable of going so far.

Relena blushed, " Wellyeah. A couple of times.and some other stuff"

Hilde blushed too, "You didn't"

Relena turned even redder, "NO! Of course not! We never went that far!"

Hilde frowned, "Well, knowing the type of person Heero is, any reaction on his side has to mean he feels deeply for you, Rel."

She picked at her nails; "He'd have cared deeply for anyone that "saved the Earth and colonies" like he always goes on about how I did. I swearwho knows what goes through that brain of his."

"Um, Relena, " Hilde said suddenly, "Aren't you nervous that Heero might be listening to us as we speak?"

"Listening in on us? Oh no, Hilde, I've already found all the bugs in this room and put them in the Boris and Anastasia's room. They'll probably bore Heero to death!"

At that very moment, two very interesting things were happening. Boris and Anastasia were both getting ready for bed, and Heero was in his base camp, fiddling with his radio as he tried to pick up the signal of his bugs in Relena's room for"safety" purposes.

Anastasia could tell Boris was angry, and she knew of only one way to make him feel better. So, with a very catlike grin, the matriarch of the Noventa family went to the television set in front of her large bed and popped an entertainment disk into the disk player. The screen flickered on, and soft music filtered into the room, a familiar song that made Boris perk up considerably.

Anastasia turned to him, "Do you remember this movie, Boris-honey?"

The screen showed to figures, a man and a woman, slowly moving towards a bed as the music played sensuously.

A glimmer of lust flickered in her husband's eyes.

Heero pressed the headphones to his ears as the fuzz cleared and he finally got clear reception. Unfortunately, his hunt for clear hearing had forced him to climb on of the trees near the camp, but he thought the risk was justified if he got a chance to listen to Relena.

**_The braided boy's eyes widened, "Okay, if you want me to prove it to you, I will. One hundred lunar credits says I can get Hilde before you can get Relena."_**

"The vice foreign minister is not interested in-"

"Well unbraid my hair and call me a nun, you're scared of her!" Duo crowed triumphantly, "Just because she doesn't know it yet doesn't mean she doesn't like you!"

Heero cradled his head in his hands.

"She's not sure what love is. She probably thinks about you as a friend. You've got to make the first move, pal, get her interested in you in a different way-"

Heero mumbled something.

"Chicken! You're a chicken!" Duo caterwauled, "You must have used up all your guts during the war!"

Duo leaped up and began flapping his arms around, "Boc! Boc! Boc!"

"Lower your voice! Are you trying to get us caught, baka?"

"Baka? What does that mean?"

"Never mind that, just stop it already!" Heero snapped. Duo grinned devilishly at the fact he was getting on his companion's nerves.

"I won't stop until you agree to the bet." Duo stopped and cupped his hands around his mouth, "COCKLE-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heero muttered something else.

Duo leaned forward, "What did you say?"

Heero stood up and looked Duo straight in the eye, "I said, 'Fine, I'll do it.'"

The pilot of Deathscythe Hell immediately stopped and shoved his hands into his pockets, "That wasn't too hard, was it?"

And, for the second time that day, Heero lunged at Duo.

Heero blinked at the memory. He had to do some reconnaissance and win Relena before Duo got Hilde. He frowned as he heard irregular breathing near one of his microphones. Someone let out a low, breathy moan.

His eyes widened. Was she sick? Had she been wounded?

"Ooooh." breathed a throaty feminine voice.

Now here was where Heero's logic hit a snag. Though his reception was still fuzzy, that was a female voice, most likely Relena.

Words could not describe the jealous that boiled in Heero's heart and pumped through his veins. Relena, HIS Relena was.another man?

No, this simply would not do. Not at all.

"Ride me harder!!!"

Heero fell out of the tree.

Hilde had left, and Relena leaned over and turned down the sheets to her bed. Her eyes traveled to the teddy bear perched by her pillow and she wondered vaguely about the possibility of Heero not loving her.

"No, he can't not love me," Relena said angrily, "If he doesn't love me, then how the heck can I pull of my cunning and spectacular plan?"

There was silence in the room for several minutes until Relena turned back and grabbed the bear from her bed and gripped it in her hands. Confused she stared into its beady eyes, "What the heck is up with you anyway? Have you finally discovered you have hormones? Could it be that you really _have_ gone over the deep end?"

The bear had no response.

But then, even if the bear _could _have responded, there wasn't any time because the heated discussion between Relena and her plush teddy bear was interrupted by a person dressed in black diving through her window.

Needless to say, the foreign minister was greatly confused.

Said puzzlement was immediately dissolved when she realized who her would-be assailant was.

"Ha. It's Heero. I should have known it was you. What is it this time? Mice under the floorboards? A squeaky board needs mending?"

Heero stood up, shook the glass off of his jacket and glared at her, "You can't fool me that easily, Relena. Who is he, and where did you hide him?"

Relena's eyebrows twitched at this, "What are you talking about? Are you and Duo playing hide-and-seek again?"

Heero shook his hide furiously, "I heard you, Relena! I can't believe that you would consent to do it before you were married. Did he drug you?"

"Heero, what are you talking about?"

"The man! I heard you!"

A slight smile tugged on Relena's lips, "Oh, you were listening in on me with the traces that I relocated to Mr. and Mrs. Noventa's room?"

"_Yes!_ I meanno." Heero frowned, "You knew about the bugs?"

She lifted a slim eyebrow at this, "Please, Heero. How the heck could I survive in the political arena this long if I _didn't_ know who was listening in on me?"

"That's not fair! I worked hard to conceal those!"

Relena sighed and went to a drawer beside her bed, "Please, Heero, let's just drop it. Now why don't you stop bleeding on my floor and come here so I can tend to your wounds?"

"Wounds?" he repeated absently, touching his forehead, which came back bloody, "How did I get these?"

"You dove through a window, Heero. What did you think would happen?"

Obviously not deeming that worthy of a reply, Heero moved forward and sat down in front of Relena, who had placed the white first aid kit on the night stand and was getting out the antiseptic and package of Band-Aids.

Heero narrowed his eyes at the antiseptic. Though he had admitted it to no one, there was nothing in the world Heero hated more than the sting of antiseptic. Relena eyed him nervously, noticing his death glare but failing to find the target. Following his line of sight, she found his gaze focused on the innocent-looking bottle in her hand.

"I take it Heero doesn't like antiseptic, does he?"

"He also doesn't like to be talked to in third person."

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have to fix that."

"How?"

"You'll see!" she said cheerfully before picking up a dry washcloth and disappearing into the blue-tiled bathroom. She reappeared moments later, armed and ready. Heero looked at her skittishly, as if he was about to bolt at any moment, "Don't worry, Heero! I know what I'm doing!"

"That's what I'm afraid of," Heero growled sullenly.

"Shush!" she commanded, patting the cut on Heero's forehead with the washcloth until she had wiped the blood away. She then leaned over and pecked Heero on the lips. His eyes widened, and she took advantage of his shock to spray on the antiseptic and slap on a Band-Aid.

Heero blinked away his surprise and scowled, "That wasn't fair!"

"It worked though, didn't it?" she asked coyly.

Heero snorted, but didn't move away when she leaned over to repeat the process again. And again. And again.

Finally, Relena ran out of wounds to clean and she smiled, "Well, there you are, Heero, you're completely fixed up."

He quirked his eyebrows and considered that, "No, I don't think so. You missed one."

She bit her lip to repress a grin, "I did?"

He nodded slightly and his tone remained dead serious, "I bit my cheek."

"Really?" she asked, feigning innocence along with him.

"Yes."

"Oh well," she said, sighing, "I guess I'll have to do something about it then."

And with that, she settled into his lap and kissed him deeply, sliding her tongue into his mouth. Heero quickly responded, sliding his tongue against hers and then pushing it back.

Relena broke the kiss to glare at him, "Why'd you do that?"

"It hurts to be touched." His voice was a monotone, but Relena clearly saw the playfulness in his voice.

"Well, I'm afraid I simply must do something about it, Heero. We can't have you dying from a cheek wound."

His mouth moved into a smirk as her lips brushed his again, "Well, if you really think it's for the best"he murmured.

"I'm afraid I simply must insist"

A-N: I am afraid I have to take a one-month break from all of my fics until July 20th. I have to leave my home to visit family (none of which have a computer). Thank you everyone for sticking with me even though I gave this fic a HEFTY break. Love yah all!

Oh, and an ML I'm on just had a discussion on the reviewing policy of authors, so I thought I should give mine.

One, what author does not like reviews? I like them a lot, especially insightful ones that offer criticisms, or funny ones that brighten my day. However, I will not demand a certain number of reviews to decide on when I update a story. No matter how many reviews a fic gets, I write because I enjoy writing the story. End of story. If you feel like it, please do review. If not, there's no stress or pressure. Just thought I should clear that up.


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